The Disappointment of Happily Ever After

Dear World,

It has been a long long while! I thought I could become a blogger, but clearly I thought wrong. However, I’m going to give it another go. Why? Part boredom, part loneliness, part desire to rant.  I’m not really sure why, but here goes…

So much has happened since 2009.  SO MUCH.  Almost too much.

Events in order: 1. we got a dog, 2. we bought a house in suburbia in another part of the state, 3. Yuppie Husband got a new job in the new city, 4. Yuppie Husband had to start the new job a month before we were set to move, 5. I found out I was pregnant, 6. we celebrated our one-year wedding anniversary, 7. we moved, 8. we had a baby girl, 9. we celebrated our two-year anniversary, 10. our baby girl is now 5 months old.

And through all that, emotions in order: 1. giddy and exploding with love, 2. excited and looking forward to nesting, 3. happy for Yuppie Husband and new opportunities, 4. sad to be apart from Yuppie Husband but happy for some time to myself, 5. unsure and nervous, 6. tired and awful, 7. tired and stressed, 8. tired and empty, 9. tired and emotionless, 10. sad and happy.

If you look at the list of events, everything is trucking along just wonderfully.  In the Game of Life, we could win.  But if you look at the list of emotions, what happened??? Shouldn’t the whole list just be happy happy nauseous happy? That’s what I had thought…I was supposed to be happy. I AM supposed to be happy. But I wasn’t, and I’m not.

Nobody tells you what it’s really going to be like. The already sugar-coated truth is further fantasized, romanticized, dramatized – and we naive young women, not knowing any better, crave sugar, fantasy, romance and drama, and set up fairytale expectations for our lives. And many of us learn the hard way: nothing sets you up for disappointment better than dreams of happily ever after.

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